NCSC... "Computer Says No."


Here's our recent exchange:

Colin: I wonder if you could help with advising us on how we might be supported in the our efforts in the UK, which aims to replace passwords ~ which you report are responsible for 80% of data breaches in the UK ~ with a system altogether better?

Laura: Thank you for your enquiry.  Sorry the NCSC is not able to answer specific technical enquiries, however there is plenty of guidance on our website.

Culturally the UK differs from the US in that the latter is open to new ideas from any place, and the UK is not. When Margaret Thatcher was in power, we even used to say that when it comes to running the UK, "Nanny knows best". In view of the fact most MPs had had one as a child, this would have struck a chord.

After 9/11 for instance, the US government openly invited homeland security ideas. In the 1960s in the UK we'd the National Research and Development Corporation (NRDC) and the National Enterprise Board (NEB), to combine later with the British Technology Group (BTG).

The NRDC notably backed Christopher Cockerell's hovercraft, whilst the latter invested in security products from Colin Hilton (hold on, that's me?) and Joe Rice. Memorably too, they backed MRI scans and monoclonal antibodies: which saved us from Covid-19.

Such enterprise has long been absorbed into public-servant bodies with a commercial twist, such as the NCSC tasked like Nanny with keeping us safe as we go about life.

Accordingly, this is how tech really works in the UK... choose from Plans A or B:

Plan A: Start a venture and get bought out by Californians who enjoy time in London.

Plan B: Start a venture, go to California, do pass GO and do collect £200.

For anyone reading this in California: I'm up for either.

Meanwhile back at the NCSC I have used their verify service to see if Laura is actually a real person, because when I last looked it appeared that I was.

As frankly their reply could well have ~ and surely will be one day ~ drafted by a 'bot.

So for anyone reading this at the NCSC: Relax, and get another cappuccino.

p.s. I like Britain, and I like the fact we're weirdly inventive... a national trait that best serves us in time of war and which (like much else) we forget in quieter times. I don't need to bring this post to the NCSC's attention, because one of the stuff we (well not me actually) is good at beside cryptography is monitoring. So right now at GCHQ they'll be choking on that cappuccino and saying 'Hilton will NEVER work in this space again, mwa hah, mwa hah, mwa HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!'.

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